I'm just going to say it.

Having four kids is hard. Being a mom is hard.

I'm not saying that it's harder than anything else out there.

I just need to say it. Mostly too myself.

I try so hard.

I try to...

...keep it all together.
...to keep the house picked up.
...to stay ahead of the laundry.
...to prepare good, healthy meals.
...to feed my kids something they will eat.
...to keep up with the dishes.
...to spend quality time with each kid.
...to encourage and not always be criticizing.
...to put my husband first. (I even failed at putting that at the top of my list...)
...to put God first. (Ok I really screwed that one up.)
...to take care of my own needs, without feeling guilty.
...to stay calm, when really I'm losing it inside...


Does that list sound familiar to anyone else? I know I'm not alone.

Today I just needed to say it out loud, "This is hard." It was like a breath of fresh air and weight lifted, just to simply admit to myself, that it's not even close to as easy as I want to make it look. And it's not that it's surprising to me that it's hard. Everyone told me it would be hard. I knew it was going to be a challenge.

I also love it. The crazy that has become our house and our life! I'm so excited for the days, weeks, years ahead. All the changes and adventures. And maybe even the disasters that will make for a good laugh down the road.

I love this family of mine. I'm so grateful that this is my life and these are the gifts God has given to me! I know He loves me.  I know He does because I love this family like my heart could explode! And His heart is much bigger than mine.

Maybe it's just the postpartum hormones talking. Even though it's hard and I want to break down and cry, a lot, I have never been so full of joy and love in all my life.

Introducing...

Baby Caden Ezekiel 

Baby number four was born last Saturday, May 17 at 2:41 pm. 

He weighed 8 lbs 1 oz at birth and was 19 inches long.

He is precious and the littles are loving on him every chance they can get. 

Every morning the first thing I hear is "Can I hold baby Caden?!"

We are soaking him up and learning about this little that has been added to our clan. 

The time is flying by...

37 Weeks with Baby #4

It's been awhile since I've updated, over a month actually! Oops...

Pregnancy Update

How Far Along: 37 Weeks 

Size of baby:  Baby is about the size of a 2.5 lb acorn squash!!

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Gained 25 lbs total

Maternity Clothes: Yes, I am living in dresses and skirts!

Gender: We are having a boy! We announced it here, in case you missed it.

Movement: He is still pretty active and it's getting more painful as we near the end. He is most active when I settle in for the night, or if I eat something with a lot of flavor or spice!

Sleep: Frequent awakenings to go pee and sometimes because of heartburn.

Symptoms: Fatigue and hugeness. I'm just plain uncomfortable right now. But I actually feel better than I ever remember feeling at 37 weeks!

What I miss: Doing anything that doesn't cause me to be out of breath. Being active with my other 3 kiddos.

Cravings: I haven't had much of an appetite lately. I am hungry about every 2 hrs but nothing usually sounds appetizing. I've also been having the excited, nervous butterflies and that makes it hard to eat. Sometimes while I'm eating I think to myself, What if I go into labor after eating this? Will it be pleasant to throw up?! Ha! Like anything is pleasant to throw up...

Best Moment this week: Every time he moves around I am trying to soak it up and enjoy it for the amazing gift it is. Knowing this is the last time I'll ever experience it is a little heart wrenching....

What I am looking forward to: Seeing his face for the first time! I am really taking it all in and not for granted this time! We are so close!!

N is for Nest.

Last, last week our letter and theme was N-n-nest and the number for the week was 5. Evalyn has been practicing writing all the numbers when we do our calendar and our 100 chart every day. When we aren't doing school, she is practicing what we have learned on the magna-doodle.  The other day she brought it to me to show me what she had been working on! She tells me that writing her numbers and letters is favorite thing to do at school.

Each week there is a phrase that goes along with the theme we are studying that teaches Evalyn about who God is. For this week it was 'God takes good care of me' and we learned that just like the mama bird takes good care making a nest, sitting on her eggs and then going to find food for her baby birds, God is always providing everything that we need!

Evalyn also makes a badge that we display and she can remember what she has learned through out the year. Here is her nest badge.

We made edible nests! It was a messy project but she had fun. I messed up and got shredded wheat cereal instead of the biscuits (which were supposed to be the grass) so it was 'soupier' than it should have been. There were sticks (chow mien noodles) and of course, mud (peanut butter and chocolate chips melted together).

I added Whopper eggs and they enjoyed the rich, messy treat at snack time! The older two only ate a third of their nest but Eli ate almost the whole thing and I had to cut him off so he didn't get a stomach ache!! 

Yum!

On the last day of each week Evalyn has a worksheet that she draws 4 different pictures starting with the letter we are working on. Then she writes the uppercase and lowercase letter on the lines below.

She drew a nest, a nickel, a necklace and a net and she was very proud of them. She is timid when it comes to drawing with out a picture or looking at anything. I'm hoping this activity will help her build confidence in her abilities.

Her favorite craft for the week was making this tree and nest picture! She's such a cutie!

My favorite thing about school is getting to work one on one with my little girl. :)

29 weeks

I asked Brandon to take a belly bump photo for me and he got all artsy on me. :)

Pregnancy Update

How Far Along: 29 Weeks 

Size of baby:  Baby is about the size of a 2.5 lb acorn squash!!

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Gained 10 lbs total

Maternity Clothes: Yes, pants mostly. I've been getting by with my regular shirts but I'm starting to have a hard time finding shirts that cover my tummy.

Gender: We are having a boy! We announced it here, in case you missed it.

Movement: So far he's most active when I lay down at night, of course. If I eat something spicy or flavorful he will kick around. He also gets a little protective of mama and will kick on the kids if they are sitting in my lap. I love the look on their face when they feel a kick!

Sleep: Frequent awakenings to go pee and sometimes because of heartburn.

Symptoms: I'm starting to get tired easier, heartburn and still have random nausea/vomiting but not very often. A few Braxton hicks.

What I miss: Taking deep breaths.

Cravings: I haven't had much of an appetite lately. Not sure if it's because I've been sick or if it's the promise of heartburn that have really kept me from craving anything.

Best Moment this week: Being one week closer to holding my baby.

What I am looking forward to: I'm looking forward to a little 'vacay' at the hospital. 2 days/nights with only one child to take care of, it's a piece if cake!

A is for Apple.

A couple weeks ago we did the letter A and did some apple activities!

Making a graph of the different color of apples we had.

Evie's scissor skills have drastically improved since we first started. She takes a lot of pride in her work :)

Ingredients for the apple pie we made.

The finished product!

We had fun with the Letter A!

L is for Leaf

Last week was our third week of Kindergarten and it was a tricky one. We took the week before off because the weather was ridiculously freezing, -19 degrees one day! So we didn't do much but try to stay warm.

It was a tad bit better the next week but still not ideal for a 'Leaf' study, which was the theme we were doing. There aren't many leaves to be found outside this time of year where we live so we improvised and went to a local plant nursery instead.

Not the same, but we found leaves! It worked.

We are starting to get the groove with the curriculum. My Father's World Kindergarten curriculum has set up with a routine where we do the same thing on the same days of the week. For example, every Day 1 looks the same schedule wise, every Day 2 has the same activities/routine, and so on for all 6 days of each unit. We both appreciate that, as Evalyn is catching on to what we do next and there isn't as much needed instruction as when we first started.

On of our first daily activities is looking at the calendar and talking about the date and the day of the week. She gets to practice her counting, writing {she traces the number}, shapes and colors {she draws a shape around the number with a color I chose}.

Next, she puts the day on her '100 Chart' while we keep track of the days we have done school. When we get to 100 we are going to have a celebration! After logging the day on her chart, she adds a straw to a cup and when she has 10 loose straws in the cup we put a rubber band around them and start a new set of 10. It helps her learn skip counting by 10's.

Pictures from our trip to the nursery:

Trying to reach up to the tallest plant we saw. Also the largest Leaf!

Watching the coy fish swim and trying not to get splashed!

Working on her math page, this week it was the number 3 and she was coloring the leaves in a certain pattern. They gave her the first 4 colors and then she had to figure out the pattern and finish the rest.

Another activity was doing a leaf rubbing. We used the leaves we picked up off the floor of the nursery.