Ahem. Sorry baby #4.
We found out mid-September that we are expecting our 4th baby! We were planning a fourth so it wasn't too much of a surprise when I peed on the stick and it showed 2 lines. But, as any mama would know, the certain confirmation of life growing inside of her is a thrill.
I'm trying to patiently wait until May, when this baby is expected to arrive in our arms, and doing my best to savor each day of my last pregnancy. As easy as it is to complain about all the discomforts, I know that I will look back down the road {years.... down the road} and miss the feeling of having my babies so close.
Right now I mostly feel like this pregnancy is a means to the joy I'm anticipating with all the excitement I can bear, to the day we are in the hospital meeting, holding and snuggling a soft, sweet newborn. For the last time. I want to rush to that moment and at the same time hold it off as long as possible, because I know once it's over it will stay only in my memories.
So far this pregnancy has been a mixed bag of all the past pregnancies rolled into one. On top of the over-the-top emotional response to every.little.thing. I have been remembering the past three pregnancies on a daily basis. Flashbacks flood at the slightest hint of a scent, emotion, or quiver of nausea. The fact that this is the last pregnancy I will ever experience creates unique feelings I have to process.
So far the symptoms I've had most resemble my pregnancy with Evalyn. I was convinced it was a girl. I was so sick the first 14 weeks, I laid on the couch from getting up until Brandon would get up {he worked graveyard shift last year} and then I would go straight back to my bed. The only thing I could keep down was juice and nutrition shakes with the occasional cracker here and there. I was miserable and dreading how long it would last. I hated being away from my family so much of the time, but I had to do what I could to take care of my body and the life growing inside of me. It was a growing time of letting go of control. God used those weeks to refocus my trust in Him, and Him alone.
During that time I was so blessed and loved by my servant husband and my mama who stepped in and took on a lot of the caring for the kiddos and household tasks. I couldn't have made it with out them.
Finally, the fog started to lift around the second trimester and I seriously felt like a whole new person. I had moments were I forgot that I was pregnant. I could not say that about the first 14 weeks. Since then I've had mostly good days and I can eat again. There is still the occasional wave of nausea and of course all the other lovely pregnancy symptoms that come along for the ride. But I've been able to enjoy the pregnancy much more lately.
I'll tell you one thing though, second trimester "energy increase" every one talks about is SO much different taking care of three littles as opposed to none or even one. I.am.exhausted. all the time. I am actually looking forward {for now} to the newborn exhaustion, instead of pregnancy exhaustion!
I'll wrap it up and share my belly pictures so far...
I'm 22 weeks now.
I have my next appointment at end of the month. We had a gender reveal party with a confetti cannon to find out boy or girl...
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